sometimes i feel like the rogue, misfit mom.
sometimes i feel like the oldest broad in my circle of mom friends {because most of the time, i am}.
sometimes i feel like i’ve finally got this mom gig figured out.
but, more often than not, i realize that every day is still a learning process.
i’ve been a mom for a little over eleven years, so i’ve had some time to figure out what works, what doesn’t. older & wiser? maybe. but, and i’m being honest, i still twinge with anxiety when a friend asks me for “mom advice.” ummmm…
i don’t know if it’s the age difference or the time difference, but let’s face it, folks: i had my kids in 2001 & 2003. i was in my early 20s back then. some of you were probably still in high school back then. a lot has changed since my kiddos were babies. while the premise of motherhood & rearing children is still basically the same as it has been since the beginning of time, the opinions, ideas & attitudes about motherhood are all. so. different. plus, there are so many more cool baby-related gadgets, but that’s neither here nor there.
my point is this: what worked or still works for me, might not be what works or will work for you, but you have to know what to take from the advice you hear or receive. i’m always apprehensive about dishing out advice or giving my opinion because i’m afraid of the backlash. don’t know what i mean? hang out with a group of moms and you’ll soon understand.
i don’t know many mothers who are as lackadaisical as i am about certain aspects of motherhood, but i think my “eh, whatever” attitude is a badge of honor that has been rightfully earned. remember, my children are now eleven & almost nine years old. if we fudge bedtime on friday & saturday nights, it’s cool. if my son goes to school with bed head, whatever. if my daughter decides to take it upon herself to bake cupcakes…from scratch, it’s cool {as long as she cleans up & she tells me she’s using the oven}. on the flip side, i don’t know many mothers who are as micro-managing as i am either. but, being one or the other does not make me any less of a mother. nor does it make my experiences or my advice invaluable.
i know that when it’s all said & done, the only thing that will matter is whether or not i believe i have mothered my children in the best way that i know possible. and, right now in this very moment, i believe that i am. being a mother is far from easy and, even though my children are getting older, i am realizing that my challenges are just beginning, rather than diminishing. and, as i begin to face those challenges, i am sure i will find myself turning to older, wiser mothers who have “been there, done that” and i’m sure they, too, will experience the same feelings of inadequacy and anxiety as i {currently} do when it comes to giving out “mom advice.”
I feel like I will be an old mom, as I’m 34 and about to give birth to our first any day now! I have learned by observation that there is not one way to do any of this parenting stuff. I think each kid is different and moms are just doing the best they can to make sure their kid makes it day to day. Moms have been raising kids without all the cool gadgets for years too!
your children are the barometer by which you measure your success or failure as a parent.Your barometric pressure should blow the roof off. You have managed to rear two well mannered,well adjusted,intelligent and respectful kids while at the same time facing personal trials that would have turned a lesser person into a sour,depressed pity-pot.Through it all you have kept your cool and your wonderful sense of humor and have gotten on with your life with your eye on the future and not the past. You may be the oldest mom in your group,but you are still the most beautiful inside and out. You and Adam are my heroes.
I only know what I see on your blog, and twitter, but you seem like a fantastic mom. And you know what? If your kid goes to school with bed head it’s ok. What’s important is that they’re not doing drugs, or breaking laws or anything else that could cause major problems. I have a feeling I’ll be a bit lackadaisical when mine get older too. I think there’s so much worse things to worry about their hairstyle, they’re hair color, whether or not their want their ears/eyebrow/tongue pierced, etc.
You are an AMAZING mom! The goal of child-rearing (in my opinion…) isn’t to be the perfect parent. It’s to make it though the process alive, and hopefully with well adjusted kids who know right from wrong.
Beautifully written and I think it’s important for mothers of all ages to see confident mothers out there.–mothers who believe they are trying to do the best damn job possible.. Mothers who know they will make mistakes but who know they will bounce back. Mothers who know they are the best ones to care for their child. THanks for sharing!